Butt Plug for Total Male Orgasm Denial?

Practices

Butt Plugs and Male Chastity

Femdom Butt Plugs

This would never have come to mind if it were for the remarks of a commentator.

I think of having an orgasm from anal penetration as a sort of superpower some gay male bottoms have.

That is probably too narrow. Some men who enjoy being bent over boyfriends in a Femdom relationship can probably achieve an orgasm when penetrated with a strapon dildo.

For a tiny group of submissive males a butt plug may be necessary for total orgasm denial.

Since some gay men use this as a form of dominance in M/m BDSM it probably will also make the straigh male feel more controlled, submissive.

The Chastity Belt (Adventures in Male Chastity)

Male Chastity Fantasies

Giles English has a new work of male orgasm denial fiction out:

A kinky erotic novel about male chastity and Femdom at college!

Which would you choose? Erotic adventures beyond your wildest dreams, or being able to have an orgasm again… ever?

Mark is surrounded by delicious but messed-up college girls. Despairing of ever bedding one, he agrees to wear an experimental chastity belt, only to discover that the girls quite like the idea of a man without a penis!

His chastity belt unlocks the libidos of ice maidens, pathological teases, timid virgins, and super bitches, opening the way for a spectacularly dysfunctional love triangle.

Unfortunately, the more he gets turned on, the longer the hi-tech device remains locked….

Download for Kindle: The Chastity Belt (Adventures in Male Chastity)

Stories of Ruined Orgasms

Experiences, Opinions

The idea of chastity in the form of unsatisfying orgasms and painful ejaculations is a fetish that fixates many submissive and masochistic men.

Recently on Female Led Relationships I posted some reports of men about their own damaged, unhappy orgasms. As is the case with F/m experiences recounted on the web reader skepticism is encouraged.

Read some:

Ruinged Orgasm Stories

Human Male Milking System

Male Milking

This was left as a comment on one of my sites. Since male male milking seems to go hand-in-hand with enforced male chastity I thought I’d post it here.

Continue reading "Human Male Milking System" »

Never To Masturbate or Penetrate

Folklore

“Karen” wrote in a comment:

I am happily married for 15 years. I am a dominant wife. My husband is totally submissive to me. Before we were married, we tried male chastity for short periods of time. He proposed to me after 2 and a half years of dating. I told my boyfriend, David, if we are going to be married, he would haft to surrender himself to me, which included chastity for life. He would never be allowed to masturbate, or enter me, and this would include our honeymoon. I explain that I would continue to see other men or women while married as I did during our dating years. After two months of thinking it over, David agreed. Since our fifteen years of marriage, David has never entered me, and has never has an orgasm. He has been locked up all this time. We have four wonderful children, all from different men, and I am knocked up with a fifth child. David does orally please me, and clean me out orally after I come home from a date. He has accepted that he will never have an orgasm again, and never will be let out of his chastity belt. I am the bread winner in the family, while David is the maid, cleaning the house, inside and out, and cooking for the family. David never disciplines the children; I am the disciplinarian in the family. Yes, I have had to discipline my husband numerous of times to. If you have any questions, email me [deleted]

Gentle reader what do you think of this story of Karen and David?

Lifetime Lifestyle Orgasm Denial

Folklore

Extreme Orgasm Denial

Like cuckoldry, extreme male orgasm suppression fantasies show up as fact on the web: in comments or as blogs themselves.

Recently I ran across a blog in which the wife states that her husband is subject to perpetual orgasm denial. No orgasms, none, never. I know of a very few women who like the idea of keeping a man chaste for the rest of his life. Not that they necessarily claim that it would really work.

Lifetime Enforced Chastity is Foolish

Permanent chastity is surely a wrongheaded expression of female dominance. Either he will:

  • Decide to Hell with this and leave the relationship.
  • Or lose all of his sexual desire. Murdering someone’s libido may also kill much of there interest in other things. Certainly it ends chastity as a motivator.

Eternal orgasm denial is mostly a male fantasy. It isn’t uncommon for submissive men to feel aroused by imagining extreme torments. That is unhealthy when the dividing line between sane possibility and dangerous games vanishes.

Fake Chastity Blogs

Most expressions of desire for - or professions of - come from men who aren’t in a relationship with a dominant woman. Their frustration keeps pushing their imagination to the edge. So they leave comments on blogs recounting lives they don’t live. Or even produce blogs about their fictitious life. Often the comments are written in barely comprehendible English. The bogus chastity blogs are identifiable by close attention to details of how the woman and the submissive male are dressed. Equally closely described are the punishments. And there’s lots of repetition.

Possibly the blog I mentioned above is one such fantasy. Living imaginary lives is one the pleasures of the web. Though Second Life seems a better venue. Interacting with an avatar is probably better than just wrestling with your own feverish fantasies.

Sexless in Silence

One novel aspect of this blog is that the man is never allowed to express his sexual frustration. It as if he’s been stripped of all sexuality. Only her sexuality exists.

  • Is that something you think that you’d enjoy?
  • To go forever without ejaculating with pleasure?
  • To forgo all sexual self-expression?
  • To become a sexual cipher?

Would that make you happy?

(This entry was moved from one of my other sites.)

Is My Husband A Pervert?

Basic Psychology

Your husband - or boyfriend - has confessed to you that he wants you to lock his penis up in a CB6000 or other male chastity device.

You are shocked. What is wrong with the man? Are you in love with a sick pervert?

If your husband / boyfriend is mentally ill it is not because he wants you to control his orgasms.

Penises can be funny things.

While voluntary erotic male chastity doesn’t get the mass media coverage as the flashy folks who wear leather and vinyl it is one of the most common forms of atypical sexuality. Wearing MCDs - male chastity devices - isn’t that rare: after dildos MCDs are among the most commonly purchased sex toys.

Not All Male Chastity Enthusiasts Are Alike

For some couples preventing the guy from masturbating is a way to build up his sexual enthusiasm. When the MCD comes off after a couple of days or maybe a week the sex that follows is hot, passionate and very satisfying. For both partners.

An improved sex life can persuade many of a wife or girlfriend take pleasure in controlling their lover’s orgasms.

Some make games of it with little rules and regulations. That can work out well if not too complicated and encumbering.

There is talk of enforced male chastity making men more responsive and attentive. Easy to understand a woman finding that troubling in a man she loves. That rhetoric at times just reflects an attempt by the guy to convince the woman that the endeavor is worth pursuing.

In some men the desire to have their sexuality leashed reflects a more general desire to be dominated by a woman. He may be seeking erotic female domination. Perhaps extreme BDSM. You need to get him to talk to you honestly to discern what his real needs and desires are. But don’t assume the “worst” until the two of you have had a few heart-to-heart conversations.

Regardless the man, above all, wants his wife or girlfriend to enjoy taking control of his orgasms. To do so half-heartedly will only lead to sadness and disappointment.

Some men change their minds once giving orgasm denial a try. But only a few.

You do need to understand that the desire for chastity is probably not a passing fancy. It isn’t going away if you pretend he never expressed desire. Ignoring his need will leave him feeling perpetually disappointed and frustrated. And may prove a sign of real and permanent sexual incompatibility.

But no, he isn’t sick. Just wired a bit differently.

How Do You Shrink a Penis?

Folklore

Truth may or may not be stranger than fiction. Some people can’t even tell the difference between the two. Here’s one fellow’s unlikely question for knowledge:

Dear friend,

I’m trying to find accurate information on the effects of long-term chastity on penis size. It’s not easy. My lifestyle Domme has me permanently locked in a Gerecke device. With changes we had made at a local machine shop, it’s impossible to violate.

My hope is that i can find medical info which confirms your observations. It would be wonderful if my mistress and i can take pleasure in watching my “Pee Hole” as She now refers to it, slowly diminish and become useless.

Also, do you know where to find out about the effects of restricting nocturnal erections and how that may relate to reducing the size of the penis?

Thanks so much,

In response to Lori’s Tube.

Wishing For Sex Which I Will Never Have Again

Folklore

This reader comment shows what happens to some guys’ minds when they fantasize about orgasm denial too much (spelling errors corrected):

My wife got me a new chastity belt made of metal and locked it on me four years ago and broke all the keys and put epoxy into the key slot that way the belt never will be removed becose she was tired of me masturbating all the time and sense then I pleaser her using a strap on realistic 10 inch by 3 inch dildo and my fingers or my mouth and my pleaser only comes from pleasing her and she never cheats on me and she loves me for permanently giving up my dick for her and I never again get to touch or even get to see my dick ever since the belt has been locked on me and I never get hardons ever no mater how horny I get and we celebrates my chastity just like a birthday and she tells me all the time how glad that I am in chastity and she loves to brag and say that having me in chastity always is the best thing she has ever done and loves the attention she gets from me and she loves to brag of the power she has over my sexuality and all of our friends have seen me in the belt and she loves me to talk with her when I get horny to help me to get over wishing for sex which I will never have again

Milking Male Slaves

Male Milking

(Left as a comment on one of my other blogs by Ben.)

I’ve been a believer in the “milking” procedure for male slaves. Some on this group may find it of interest. Male pleasure, from orgasm, occurs when there is strong pulsation as he expels the semen. The muscle contractions are what allow him gratification. If you want to deny pleasure, you must find a way to lessen the force of the contractions, yet extract a discharge of semen. You may remember your high school or college discussion of Pavlov and his dogs. He conditioned them so that they salivated upon hearing a bell ring. All animals, including humans, are subject to being conditioned in the same manner. Well, you do not want your slave salivating; you want him to come to orgasm by dribbling his cum, rather than having a pleasurable climax. This will decrease the intensity of pelvic flexing; yet permit emission of the semen

If you want to train your slave to produce this result, I suggest that you begin by always calling it his “Milking.” You should also combine ritual with Pavlovian type conditioning. Here is how to do it: RITUAL: It’s important, for conditioning to occur, that there be uniform and recognizable signals given to the subject. Once these are established in his mind, he will respond each time to the same stimuli in an identical manner. But, you can only obtain this conditioning/response reflex if the correct type of training is employed. To reach a successful result I suggest that certain items and words be used constantly during the conditioning ritual. Thereafter the same items, acts, and words will result in the same response. The items are 1) A rubber dishwashing glove, 2) A strap, rope, etc. to be used as a c&b device, 3) Rope, wrist restraints, etc. to secure the subject during training, 4) A nice container in which to store the items above, 5) A chair, hook, or some other place where the procedure always takes place, 6) Words used only when speaking of this procedure. The words should be “Milking Time” for the day of the procedure, “Milking Place” for the chair, hook, or place where it is to take place, “Milking Equipment” for the contents of the container mentioned in 4) above. CONDITIONING: Once a week, over a period of three months, the sole sexual relief for the male should be through his being “Milked.” The procedure used is aimed at allowing him only the weakest muscle contractions as he reaches orgasm. Unless the slave is properly conditioned, he is likely to seek ways to increase his pleasure during the procedure. He will begin to clench certain muscles at the proper moment, thereby having stronger contractions and a more pleasurable orgasm. To acquire the ritual items, have the slave purchase all of the “Milking Equipment” and a well-finished box for storage. The box can be a nice locking tea caddy found at furniture stores in most malls.

He should then be ordered to keep the box and its contents in a place of honor. Perhaps his Mistress would like him to maintain a votive candle burning in front of it at all times. Or, she might like him to purchase an expensive silk cloth as a cover for the box. A chair (or ceiling hook - if you like your slave suspended on tip-toes) or other place should be established as the “Milking Place.” It should be used exclusively for this procedure. You want the subject to acquire strong association with the place and the equipment. The Mistress should wear one rubber glove on her “Milking Hand, during the process. By sight and the smell of the rubber, he will mentally unite the glove with the act of having an unsatisfying orgasm. After he is fully conditioned, when he is restrained in the “Milking Place” the mere act of the Mistress placing the glove on her hand may cause him to dribble out his slime. During conditioning there should be an established “Milking Time.” This should be the same day of the week, and hour of the day. The slave’s reflexes thereby are trained by his anticipation as the time draws near. He knows what is to transpire, and learns to produce that which his Mistress expects and desires. MILKING: At the appointed “Milking Time” the slave is instructed to prepare the “Milking Place” and to present Mistress with the box containing the “Milking Equipment.” It is important that she use these terms, strengthening his association with them, and the procedure. He is then to assume a proper kneeling position and offer the box to his Mistress. She should delay accepting it until, under questioning as to his desires, the slave states, “Please Mistress, may I be Milked?” The Mistress should then announce that it would give her great pleasure to have his slime only trickle out of his organ. “Will you assist in accomplishing that, slave?” she asks. He agrees. She then tells him that if he has a strong orgasm, she will be most displeased. He agrees to make her happy. She then takes the box from his outstretched hands. Unlocking it she removes the wrist restraints and other bindings. She hands them to the slave and orders that he go and await her at the “Milking Place.” He is to kneel there and meditate on how he will assist in seeing that the “Milking” is the type desired to bring pleasure to his Mistress, not to him. After a proper delay, the Mistress enters the “Milking Place” and secures the slave. She then applies the restrictive device (ropes or strap) to his organ.

It is important that the restriction be rather secure around the root of the organ. You want to prevent semen from flowing up his urethra as much as possible. She does not rush any of this, rather takes her time and sees that she does it the same way each time. When he is fully restrained the glove is removed from the box. Mistress does this with great respect, as if the item is to be revered. Mistress can wear some special lingerie each time she performs the “Milking.” Reverently laying the glove atop his erection, she leaves to put on her special clothing. This puts the restrained slave alone with all of the physical items for his “Milking”. He is left there for several minutes, his anticipation building the entire time. Mistress returns, dons the glove, and begins the slow methodical “Milking”. No lubrication is used, and the glove is not allowed to slide over the organ. At the first twitch, pulsation, or other indication of approaching orgasm, she quickly removes her hand.

She does not resume the almost mechanical “Milking” for a full minute. Sixty seconds is a long time when excitement is high. It is, however, necessary to wait out the full time prior to resumption. This same routine is carried out again and again, ceasing each time that there is the slightest muscle twitch observed or suspected. During the sixty seconds that the “Milking” is not taking place, the Mistress should tell the slave how well he is doing, how much pleasure she will get from his having a dribble orgasm, how displeased she will be if he has strong contractions, how he must relax and not do anything to spoil her pleasure, etc. This, in conditioning terms, is the reinforcement stage. The grand finale is a little squirt from the cock slit, followed by his slime slowly oozing out. While this is occurring Mistress should again give positive reinforcement. Tell him that what is happening is what Mistress wanted, that it gives her great pleasure, that he is a good slave to please her, that once he is fully trained (I’d avoid telling him that he is being conditioned) he will be rewarded with a full orgasm on occasion. Tell him that before he can return to having full orgasms he must be completely trained in being “Milked.” Tell him that when he reaches the stage that his being “Milked” produces consistently “deliciously unsatisfying” orgasms, Mistress will consider a reward.

REINFORCEMENT: Positive reinforcement should be used when appropriate. It may seem strange to use praise in a FemDom situation, but is a necessary component for conditioning to occur. On the other hand, poor performance requires negative reinforcement. If the subject produces a less than satisfactory result to the “Milking” there must be punishment. Within the context of a Mistress/slave relationship there are usually few things that can be inflicted as true punishment. This is, of course, because of the pain/pleasure dichotomy for which the subject is looking. Each situation is different, but negative reinforcement requires that the subject associate it with it being a penalty, not a desirable event for him. Because of this, only the most general suggestions can be made. Cotton swabs and capsaicin (pepper) cream, to swab the urethra, or particularly painful nipple clips, etc. Just make sure that permanent damage is not done. Whatever the Mistress decides to use for negative reinforcement, she should make the slave buy it, have it available at the “Milking Place,” and keep it in his constant view. She wants the slave to see the penalty that waits (for unsatisfactory performance) while she is encouraging him, toward a successful result, with positive reinforcement

IN CONCLUSION: Most Mistress’ do not want to be utterly cruel and remove the slave’s ability to reach full climax. What you likely want, is total control over the type of orgasm the slave can experience. You want to create strong association with the “Milking” time, place and equipment. You want the slave so conditioned that when he is told that he is to be “Milked,” and when he sees all of the ritual items, he produces the desired result. Once the slave is fully conditioned, the Mistress can revert to monthly or some other schedule, for orgasm by the male. The only caution is to use the “Milking” terms exclusively for when you want him to have that type orgasm. When you want to allow him a full-blown orgasm, just go for that. Mistress should discard the one glove of the pair, keeping only the one for her “Milking Hand.” At any time that this glove becomes soiled with slime from the slave, it must be thrown out, with the slave purchasing a replacement. If Mistress wants to feed the slave whatever he expels, she should use her non-gloved hand. All of this is so the slave comes to regard everything associated with “Milking” to be special. The above is respectfully submitted for the pleasure of any Mistress; and for the frustration of male slaves. If these techniques are used, the slaves are doomed to “deliciously unsatisfying” orgasms whenever that will give pleasure to their Mistress.

Victorian Male Chastity

Masturbation, Miscellaneous MCDs

Weird and nutty desires to control if not eliminate the evil effects of male orgasms led Victorian sexual technologists to seek engineering solutions to the horrible problems of male “self-pollution.” Hence this mechanism:

early-male-chastity-device (9K)

This metal device is one of a number of similar devices which were invented in the 18th, 19th and 20th centuries to prevent masturbation. A leather strap which would have kept it in place is now missing. Until the early 1900s, many people regarded masturbation as harmful to a person’s health, and it was blamed for a variety of ailments, including insanity.

Male anti-masturbation device

This huge bit of metal ignores the contemporary desire to keep chastity devices discreetly hidden.

And 21st century women have more entertaining ways of limiting and modulating a man’s ability to have an orgasm in the privacy of his bedroom.

No Penetrative Sex

Basic Psychology

I note in reading female domination blogs that there appears to be a class of couples who no longer have penetrative sex. When let out of his chastity device he wanks. Her orgasms are induced by a vibrator, dildo or cunnilingus.

It baffles me that those dominant women prefer a vibrator than a human body. But my own response doesn’t preclude it from being a legitimate sexual response. After all some people are asexual.

It may be that this allows women who otherwise would not have a fulfilling sex life because of some sort of early conditioning against conventional copulation to find erotic satisfaction within marriage.

Is It Phallocentric?

Basic Psychology

Many men, gay and straight, boast of the duration they’ve enforced on themselves.

Makes you wonder who gets the most out of orgasm prohibition: the male or the female.

Makes Men Better

Basic Psychology

I don’t see my penis as a greedy monster that needs control.

That men need to have their orgasms limited so that they are supportive - or within D/s relationships, submissive - I tend to reject as literally true. Some of my speculations of what is really going on will show up here.

That without enforced chastity a man won’t be a loving husband is very sad and disturbing.

Why Tease & Denial?

Basic Psychology

A simple speculation as to one possible source of the appeal of tease and denial.

My own guess is that some men during adolescence who desire various pretty girls that they they’ll never be able to make love to come to associate the inability to consummate their desire with sexual pleasure. Arousal in itself is pleasurable. Perhaps the combination of desire and inability stimulates their sexuality.

NB: I’m sure there are many different causes and responses. Particularly when you divide men who enjoy t&d between those who do it with their wife or girlfriend and those who are responding to a long distance mistress that they’ll never meet.

Post-Orgasm Behavior

Basic Psychology

Men and women often say that a man in a chastity regimen is less attentive once allowed an orgasm. He may be less likely to help with household tasks or even rude.

That creates a sad, very negative image of the men: being allowed sexual release renders them impolite and selfish. Is it really that simple?

Perhaps their misbehavior is a way of ensuring that orgasm control will be resumed. An invisible sort of topping from the bottom as it were. (And why not?)

Seems a kinder way of seeing the men than the stereotypes.

Freestyle Control

Schedules, Routines

Some people treat chastity as if it were an Olympic sport. Others prefer to let the game flow more freely:

I don’t like setting goals like “6 months.” I prefer to say, “I have the key and let’s see what I feel like doing.” If I want to fuck him tomorrow, I do. If I don’t want to have anything to do with him for a month, then I don’t. I like to have control and the choice to do what I want, when I want. I really enjoy intercourse with scott. For me, it is a really important part of our sex life so I want to be able to do that when I feel like it. To me that’s true femdom: the woman doing what she wants when she wants without having to negotiate about it.

Ask Emma 4

In a follow-up post Scott outlines the male chastity devices they’ve tried and which he likes best:

Then I discovered Gerecke, a metal craftsman in Germany, that made a tube that seemed to combine the best of the Curve and Lori designs. It is my favorite device. I can wear it comfortably under my clothes around town and it is very secure. But I get abrasions behind my balls if my sac starts getting tight and then it has to come off. Again, I’ve made it about a week.

Scott’s Response to Ask Emma #4

Asking for Orgasms

Basic Psychology

Devastatingyet shares the effect going three or four days without an orgasm has on her lover:

This has been a tricky kind of play for us. In the beginning, I got a lot of hinting about how I should (basically) make him go a long time in between, and how hard it would be to make him beg. It turns out that reducing Jos to an absolute orgasm-craving mess is not actually that difficult.

I have to confess to feeling faintly envious: I miss that crazy need to come. Not that I don’t enjoy my orgasms. But it isn’t like it was at twenty when the problem seemed to be how to hide the recurrant erections as I went about my day.

He has a problem common to many of us submissive guys (certainly me):

One problem he’s having is that it is difficult to ask “authority figures” for favors. He feels that he has nothing to offer me in return, because he has already given me everything that he has to give (by being my slave). Many things are wrong with this idea, to wit:

Read the rest of her explanation in a little orgasm trauma

Chastity Fantasy vs. Reality

Experiences, Opinions

Chastity devices are often regarded by the uninformed as sort of magic talismans. All you have to do is buy one and it’ll work right out of the box without effort or planning.

Always good to see sane words about chastity play:

I’m seen numerous very hot erotic chastity play stories over the years. “Mistress seduces inexperienced submissive” and “Wife discovers husband cheating and forces chastity (and lots humiliating acts)” seem to be common themes. Hot erotic fiction. Some even claim to be factual, often toned down a bit. Well, at least so far, even just figuring out how to get the damn thing on, dealing with erection caused by fondling and sexual tension is not a simple matter. I always knew those stories and many people’s supposedly factual accounts of chastity play were really over-the-top, but now having tried to just simply get the damn thing on, the disparity between fantasy and reality is seems even greater than I suspected.

Arecee purchased a CB3000 for me!

Spermatazoic Economy

Folklore

In the 19th century it was thought by many that human activity depending on invisible dynamic fluids, sometimes thought to be biological electromagnetic qualities. Hence the popularity of the idea of animal magnetism.

A single ounce of semen was believed to contain as much human vitality as two and half pints of blood.

Men were imagined to have a limited internal “spermatazoic” economy. Every male had only so much. Once used up it was gone and could never be recovered.

Even when this sort of bogus science was abandoned similar imagery doubtlessly shaped the perceptions of the cultural value of male chastity.

Read More : Earlier Posts


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