Is It Phallocentric?

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Many men, gay and straight, boast of the duration they’ve enforced on themselves.

Makes you wonder who gets the most out of orgasm prohibition: the male or the female.

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I’ve been guilty of this. At times, there’s something like a “personal best” competition going on. If you’ve been locked for 10 days, then you need to go for 12 the next time. Then 18. And at some point you’re measuring in weeks. This is especially insidious if you become addicted to the low-level arousal that you develop.

When we first got into chastity and orgasm denial, we thought that we’d go on for a couple, maybe three weeks. By the end of the second week, we were talking about going for a month. By the end of the month we were talking about three. As the three month point approached, we started talking about “the first ninety days.” At some point in the second ninety, we started talking about going for a full year.

It ended up being 8-1/2 months.

After that, we took a break from chastity for a while. But when we went back to it, the same sort of thing happened: a couple of weeks turned into 4-1/2 months (and then part of the device actually broke). And then we took another break. The next time, though, we started talking about where it was going. We agreed that at some point it was just going to be a “break the previous record” contest. After 9 months, what’s left? 10? 12? 24?

And so what’s the point? Do you want to get to where you’re only allowed to climax once a year? Yes, it’s a hot fantasy for some of us, but at some point one needs to recognize that the competition is overshadowing the experience.

The Edge of Vanilla

I had no idea you’d gone that long.

I’d have thought at some point the feedback would’ve become “negative” - i.e., that you might have found arousal diminishing or simply too frustrating to tolerate.

The arousal thing can be funny. We once went for 4-1/2 months without her removing the cage at all, not even once. Yet, we broke the A ring while having some wild sex (I was using a strap-on).

It depends upon how you view the situation. I do think that after a while my libido went down a bit, but it was probably more a factor of how much (or little) we were having sex. Some months are busier with holidays and kids and social events, so we got together less.

Interestingly, I’d often initiate sex, even though I knew I’d have to use the harness. No arousal problem there.


You are kinkier than I guessed.

You’ve got a post elsewhere about women and penetrative sex. My wife happens to prefer it, so we needed to find some way to make things work. We started off with a semi-realistic looking dildo, then got a “Bent Realistic” from Blowfish, and last year bought the “Boitoi”, which is the BR with a more fleshy outer covering. It happens to resemble me fairly closely, so that made it an even better choice.

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