Male Chastity : Man Trapped By Own Fantasy?

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Enforced Male Chastity Gone Bad & Mad?

Actually when I first read the tale recounted below I felt I might be reading fiction. Seeing it again does nothing to dispel those feelings. Read it yourself and see if you think it was something that really happened to a submissive man who let orgasm denial get out of hand or just another web wanker spinning his fantasies.

“Bobbie’s” story:

A few years ago I introduced my young wife, Catrina, to the concept of chastity control and orgasm denial of the male. Catrina is 29, short blonde hair in a bob, lovely blue eyes, slim figure, cute face. A pretty girl, but with a strong will.

Over several months, I showed her extracts from the internet describing how a male kept chaste will become naturally more attentive, respectful, loving, affectionate and appreciative of his wife. The extracts also talked about how a man’s sexual focus would center itself firmly on his wife, as his only means of sexual release. These things are all undoubtedly true, as Catrina discovered.

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We tried it out for short periods, often with me having brought her to orgasm and being close to orgasm myself when she would decide, “That’s all for you,” or “You will have to save up for another day”. This was hugely exciting for me: I would frustratedly roll over to my side of the bed or hold her tight as she fell asleep, with no way of knowing when I might come again.

We did not use chastity belts or artificial aids, but relied on trust; and on Catrina reminding me of my subordinate sexual status by preferring that I wear more or less all the time her underwear or womens’ underwear which we bought together on shopping trips. This was erotic for me as I have always been aroused by girls’ underwear. Furthermore, wearing clingy, supporting female underwear in bed kept my arousal under control, in that I found that with my male part restricted by tight panties I was less tempted to bother her in bed at night when she wanted to sleep. When I was not over-sexually aroused Catrina was fine with me wearing skimpier panties, as she herself frequently wore.

Essentially, feminine underwear is my chastity belt. Mutual trust is the verification of chastity. Catrina’s fury and rejection is her ultimate sanction.

We had a lot of fun playing chastity ‘games’ for a while. Catrina noticed that the frustrated male will occasionally become cranky, but I managed this as best as I could and found that crankiness, if properly focussed by me, becomes attentiveness and obedience.

Catrina hated the idea of male masturbation and had firmly told me even before our chastity play that she wanted me to never ever masturbate. I had willingly promised that I would not. Catrina has has said of masturbation, “If you ever masturbate or if I suspect it, I will just completely ignore you. I will not even bother speaking to you.” “I hate it.” “If I have to wait for sex, you have to wait too.” “It is a waste.” “It makes me feel rejected.” “It is unloving.”

After a while my periods of chastity imposed by Catrina were becoming longer and longer, over 6 months in two separate cases. I had introduced chastity into our lives as sex play as much as real lifestyle, but the boundaries were becoming blurred. A few times, we even discussed her refusing me orgasm for a whole year. I found this incredibly erotic, but frightening at the same time. A year is just so long. She said that a year would mean a year: no sexual activity at all - no giving her orgasms while I stayed frustrated, no teasing, no heavy petting, no nothing. I protested that no sex play at all was too much even for me. We couldn’t agree on this, but I am sure it will come up again. It was at this stage that she said that it wouldn’t be fair on her and that she might have to find a playmate of her own if I was so restricted.

In recent times, she has not so much been consciously imposing chastity, but mainly showing less and less interest in sexual activity with me. If I brought up with her that maybe I should be able to come more often, she would remind me, “But you like saving up”, or “This is what you wanted and you have got to stick to it”, or “You may be in a cage but it is entirely of your own making.”

As I write this letter, I have only been able to come three times in the last 7 months. The last time was not even proper sex - Catrina merely allowed me to hold her tight, rub up against her and come like a desperate animal from friction against her lovely, shapely legs. My semen spurted out into my big, protective white panties and at that stage she even forced herself away from me to avoid me wetting or staining her skirt or pantyhose. “Oh, you have had an accident,” she said. I sheepishly had to clean myself up and change my clothes as she watched me with a gaze that seemed condescending and pitying.

Catrina didn’t seem to mind that I had come in my underwear. I had never expected her to let me do that. It seemed to me that she had no real wish to have proper sex with me, that she was aware that I had been pressing her for sex more often and that she was relieved because my accident should mean that I would bother her less.

My ‘accident’ was a significant change in fact, because Catrina had clearly stated two years previously that there was only one place that I could ever come again, and that was inside her pussy (a reminder of the absolutely no masturbation ever rule). She had also begun to insist that I wore a condom when we had sex, even if it was her safe time - “We don’t want any mess,” she said, “Boys are so leaky”.

Perhaps she is now only prepared to let me squirt in my pants in my lust for her? Maybe that is all she will let me do next time? I have less and less idea of where I stand in our sexual relationship. It is certainly becoming less sexual.

She has a pretty pussy, and she regularly trims her pubic hair into a neat little bush, but I have scarcely seen it in months. She tends to shield herself from me now when she is naked or getting dressed and seems disinterested in my body - which is not in bad shape.

I get so frustrated that I fantasize a great deal. I try to cling closely to her in bed at night and try to press myself against her in the hope that she will feel sexy, but she often tells me that she can’t sleep like that or that she is too hot to cuddle up to me. We finish up sleeping on opposite sides of the bed, she sleeping soundly, me wakefully and very aware of the unfulfilled lust in my bulging underwear.

I feel that through my own fault I have descended from being the man and the leader of the relationship to being the subordinate partner, uncertain of my position, in fear of gradual rejection and dismissal even! We both wear female underwear, but who wears the trousers?

I don’t want to risk breaking the spell completely because she has often told me that she likes how I am attentive and well-behaved as an orgasm-denied male. Catrina calls me her little kitten because of how I try to cuddle up to her all the time and cuddles me like a little kitten - rather than as her husband and as a man.

It is becoming harder for me even to raise the subject of sex, because now she usually just looks at me strangely as if to say, “Not this again” or she gives me a little slap on the arm as if to say, “Sex for you? Don’t be so silly”. If I try putting my hand up her skirt or nightdress or touching between the legs I am lucky to get as far as the panties she always wears. She pulls my hand away and puts it safely on her thigh or on some other, non-sexual part of her body. If I try and kiss her she often manoeuvres her cheek into the way instead of her mouth. She knows that I find it sexy wearing female underwear and says things like, “You find panties sexy, so surely you can get your thrill that way”.

Following the advice given on many internet sites to show your wife the adavantages of a chaste, attentive husband, I volunteered to massage her regularly. I now give her long shoulder massages, foot massages, head and neck massages - everything. This has been a great success, in that Catrina is hugely appreciative of my massages. However, she recognizes that my enthusiasm to massage her is at least partly fuelled by her keeping me restricted. She whispered to me the other day after a long shoulder massage, “If you love doing this so much when you are sexually frustrated, I will have to make sure that I keep you ‘SF’ ALL the time”. What could I say? I couldn’t say that I had hoped that by giving her nice massages she would allow me sex with her more often. It would look calculating. I had to meekly agree with her.

Catrina continues to rebuff any advances I dare to make. One recent Saturday evening, she was lying face down on the floor wearing only her nightdress and panties, while I massaged her shoulders with a huge bulge in my woman’s control panties, borne out of frustration and desire and held back only by the white elasticated material and my fear of rejection. One time, I dared: I moved my hand down between her thighs and touched her panties gently in the intimate zone. Her instant response, kind but firm, was “I want a massage up here, not down there.” I returned, chastened (in more ways than one) to massaging her shoulders.

After some gentle pleas from me, she grudgingly allowed me to lift her nightdress up enough to expose her white-pantied bottom, and permitted me to kiss and stroke her bottom through her panties for a few minutes only before covering it up again and reverting to massage duty.

More recently, I was giving her a foot massage and telling her that I was so excited that I might make myself have another accident if I were to rub up against her just a little bit. Catrina responded patiently, “Darling, I would rather you massaged my other foot instead.”

I am now caught in a massage trap. Catrina loves my massages. She says that I am very good at doing them and that they make her feel spoiled in a way that she has never felt before. And she says that she must keep me ‘SF’ for me to perform them so well. She says she is so lucky to have a husband who loves massaging her and even gets turned on by doing it! She is actually going to send me on a massage course soon so as to get even better! I can’t suddenly lose enthusiasm for massaging her or she would be even less likely to let me come and/or angry that it was partly a ploy to make her have sex with me.


So, why am I worried? I am living what many would call a perfect life as a dominated, submissive, chaste male, rarely allowed orgasm by my young pretty wife - just the lifestyle I suggested to Catrina when I introduced chastity into our lives.

I am concerned because she has taken to it too well. I am a frustrated, ignored male who just happens to live in the same house as she does. Catrina does what she wants, sex is becoming almost a taboo subject, she accepts my love and attention, but reciprocates it less and less. It seems as if she is trying to kill my sex drive, or perhaps let my sex drive wither away or be redirected into other more pleasureable avenues for her.

I am away from home for most days at work and heaven knows if she gets up to anything. I am concerned that she might one day. Catrina is sexy, she is young and pretty, she has cute underwear which we often buy together (often at the same time that we buy mine) although I don’t get to enjoy it much these days. I cannot see what she does when I am at the office. She doesn’t work, but is involved in various local things, including the tennis club (she of course looks good in a little white tennis dress and panties), charity events etc. I don’t know many of these people because I have little time to meet them. She is often on her computer or on the phone when I get home. She always gets attention from other men.

As I mentioned above, she did ask me once, a year or two ago, that if she didn’t get sex from me because I wanted to be restricted, wouldn’t she have to get a ‘playmate’ of her own? I replied then that I didn’t want to be restricted from sex so much that she felt that way. She said that it wasn’t fair on her to deny her sex just because I didn’t want it, to which I told her that I enjoyed giving her orgasms without being ‘allowed’ to come myself, but she responded that it wasn’t the same as proper sex. We haven’t discussed that aspect for a while now. But she made it clear that she prefers full mutual sex to just being given an orgasm or even orgasms by me.


Please would group members give me their considered opinion on all this. Womens’ views I would be particularly interested in, in case they can interpret the facts from their own experience.

Have I got what I always wanted? Is this what real submission and chastity is like? Have I opened Pandora’s box too far?

Please help me. I am not sure whether to accept and enjoy my requested sexually submissive and chaste lifestyle or whether to panic that my wife is losing interest in me.

Male Chastity / Orgasm Denial - Have I gone too far?


The descriptions of the wife are what most make me think it’s a wank fantasy. Also, the level of detail is high but the specificity of that detail seems low. It all follows a kind of linear pattern, which real relationships usually do not.

If this is a real situation, my advice is the obvious advice: both parties have to be satisfied in the relationship, and it should be renegotiated until that’s the case. There’s no “shoulds” about how to conduct it. If your wife has no sexual interest in you and that’s not working for you, it might be time to consider marital counseling or divorce.

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