She Does It Because She Likes To
» Experiences, Opinions
These words are by my friend roo-roo:
For me, her motivation for locking me up matters. If she’s trying to change me, using t&d as a tool to get something out of me, then I’ll pass. But if she’s doing it because she *likes* it…..enjoys being a cocktease, loves making me squirm, etc…..then I’m definitely on board.
Yes, t&d does make me more willing to push my limits, more pliant. But too often I see people using chastity to change the other person; if you’re not happy with who that other person is, just move on. Or if it’s a relatively small problem, talk about it and come up with a solution.
I wouldn’t last in a 24/7 chastity relationship, even if there were occasional orgasms involved. To really feel “release”, I tend to have one orgasm after another, dozens per day. On top of that, having total freedom and then being locked up provides a wonderful contrast. Once locked up, I know full well what I’m missing, and it seems to make it more intense. (It’s analogous to staying outside all day in the summer; you don’t feel the heat as much if you’re out all day, but you really feel it if you’re going in and out all day, from air conditioning to heat and back.) So being locked up for weeks (months?) followed by at least a few days of total wankitude is more my speed.
Comments
Roo, 24/7 doesn’t mean that there is no orgasm or release. It’s whatever you and your partner negotiate. My wife and I did the total orgasm denial thing because at the time it was “hot” for us. But we’ve talked and have decided that the next time we might go for something like random releases, maybe a week apart, maybe a month. I’d still be required to wear it 24/7, but it wouldn’t mean orgasm denial so much as orgasm control.
Posted by: Tom Allen | February 7, 2007 6:08 PM
I got that; what I mean is that the control is 24/7 in those situations, and that usually translates into less orgasms than I need to feel full release. Total denial, well, I’d laugh at anyone who tried that with me. As you said, it’s what we agree on that matters, and that on/off pattern is what works for us.
Posted by: roo-roo | February 7, 2007 7:20 PM
I agree (almost) entirely. For me, her desire to control my orgasm and sexual stimulation is a majority of where the fetish comes from. As I’m always saying, it’s the control that I love first and foremost. The denial and the service come second.
However, as its the control I crave even more than the orgasmic release, I enjoy how strictly my girlfriend (and Mistress) regulates my orgasms. Maybe it’s because I’m 22 years old or maybe it’s just the way I am, but like you, after a period of teasing I often feel like a single orgasmic ejaculation does not “really” let me experience “full release” since I tend to need multiple ejaculations before I’m even close to being spent.
Unlike you, however, keeping me on a one orgasm per “release” schedule actually turns me on more because she tells me that she “likes me when I’m horny,” and can thus ensure I never feel totally sexually satisfied. That singule orgasm is what shows me what I’m missing; the memories of the days when I masturbated to five or six orgasms a night are not that far gone for me yet. It is very frustrating, and except for honest-to-goodness accidents, it’s been over a year now since I last orgasmed without her express permission to do so, yet I’m not sure I would want that “full release” back now even if she offered it.
Just my 4 cents. :)
Posted by: maymay | February 23, 2007 5:20 AM