Illicit Self-Lover

Illicit Self-Lover, a man who enjoys a regular and frequent wanking schedule is in conflict with his wife writes to advice columnist Prudie (For Prudish?).

I masturbate pretty much every morning after getting up and every evening before I go to bed, unless I think my wife and I will make love. The problem is that my wife sees my masturbation as a declaration that she does not please me, which is not true. I enjoy our lovemaking, and I’d prefer to make love to her as often as I masturbate; she’s simply not interested in doing it that often. (Believe me, I’ve tried.) Moreover, she complains that I “take too long” and says she would be more willing if I were “normal” and didn’t last so long. My wife also has suggested there is something wrong with me for wanting to make love or masturbate as often as I do.

Slate: My wife is intimidated by how often I pleasure myself.

Prudie offers a little bit of sensible advice. But doesn’t really entertain the possibility that the man is married to a cold fish.

Some of you I suspect would say Illicit Self-Lover needs to be locked up in a CB-6000?