No Penetrative Sex

Basic Psychology

I note in reading female domination blogs that there appears to be a class of couples who no longer have penetrative sex. When let out of his chastity device he wanks. Her orgasms are induced by a vibrator, dildo or cunnilingus.

It baffles me that those dominant women prefer a vibrator than a human body. But my own response doesn’t preclude it from being a legitimate sexual response. After all some people are asexual.

It may be that this allows women who otherwise would not have a fulfilling sex life because of some sort of early conditioning against conventional copulation to find erotic satisfaction within marriage.

Is It Phallocentric?

Basic Psychology

Many men, gay and straight, boast of the duration they’ve enforced on themselves.

Makes you wonder who gets the most out of orgasm prohibition: the male or the female.

Makes Men Better

Basic Psychology

I don’t see my penis as a greedy monster that needs control.

That men need to have their orgasms limited so that they are supportive - or within D/s relationships, submissive - I tend to reject as literally true. Some of my speculations of what is really going on will show up here.

That without enforced chastity a man won’t be a loving husband is very sad and disturbing.

Why Tease & Denial?

Basic Psychology

A simple speculation as to one possible source of the appeal of tease and denial.

My own guess is that some men during adolescence who desire various pretty girls that they they’ll never be able to make love to come to associate the inability to consummate their desire with sexual pleasure. Arousal in itself is pleasurable. Perhaps the combination of desire and inability stimulates their sexuality.

NB: I’m sure there are many different causes and responses. Particularly when you divide men who enjoy t&d between those who do it with their wife or girlfriend and those who are responding to a long distance mistress that they’ll never meet.

Post-Orgasm Behavior

Basic Psychology

Men and women often say that a man in a chastity regimen is less attentive once allowed an orgasm. He may be less likely to help with household tasks or even rude.

That creates a sad, very negative image of the men: being allowed sexual release renders them impolite and selfish. Is it really that simple?

Perhaps their misbehavior is a way of ensuring that orgasm control will be resumed. An invisible sort of topping from the bottom as it were. (And why not?)

Seems a kinder way of seeing the men than the stereotypes.

Freestyle Control

Schedules, Routines

Some people treat chastity as if it were an Olympic sport. Others prefer to let the game flow more freely:

I don’t like setting goals like “6 months.” I prefer to say, “I have the key and let’s see what I feel like doing.” If I want to fuck him tomorrow, I do. If I don’t want to have anything to do with him for a month, then I don’t. I like to have control and the choice to do what I want, when I want. I really enjoy intercourse with scott. For me, it is a really important part of our sex life so I want to be able to do that when I feel like it. To me that’s true femdom: the woman doing what she wants when she wants without having to negotiate about it.

Ask Emma 4

In a follow-up post Scott outlines the male chastity devices they’ve tried and which he likes best:

Then I discovered Gerecke, a metal craftsman in Germany, that made a tube that seemed to combine the best of the Curve and Lori designs. It is my favorite device. I can wear it comfortably under my clothes around town and it is very secure. But I get abrasions behind my balls if my sac starts getting tight and then it has to come off. Again, I’ve made it about a week.

Scott’s Response to Ask Emma #4

Asking for Orgasms

Basic Psychology

Devastatingyet shares the effect going three or four days without an orgasm has on her lover:

This has been a tricky kind of play for us. In the beginning, I got a lot of hinting about how I should (basically) make him go a long time in between, and how hard it would be to make him beg. It turns out that reducing Jos to an absolute orgasm-craving mess is not actually that difficult.

I have to confess to feeling faintly envious: I miss that crazy need to come. Not that I don’t enjoy my orgasms. But it isn’t like it was at twenty when the problem seemed to be how to hide the recurrant erections as I went about my day.

He has a problem common to many of us submissive guys (certainly me):

One problem he’s having is that it is difficult to ask “authority figures” for favors. He feels that he has nothing to offer me in return, because he has already given me everything that he has to give (by being my slave). Many things are wrong with this idea, to wit:

Read the rest of her explanation in a little orgasm trauma

Chastity Fantasy vs. Reality

Experiences, Opinions

Chastity devices are often regarded by the uninformed as sort of magic talismans. All you have to do is buy one and it’ll work right out of the box without effort or planning.

Always good to see sane words about chastity play:

I’m seen numerous very hot erotic chastity play stories over the years. “Mistress seduces inexperienced submissive” and “Wife discovers husband cheating and forces chastity (and lots humiliating acts)” seem to be common themes. Hot erotic fiction. Some even claim to be factual, often toned down a bit. Well, at least so far, even just figuring out how to get the damn thing on, dealing with erection caused by fondling and sexual tension is not a simple matter. I always knew those stories and many people’s supposedly factual accounts of chastity play were really over-the-top, but now having tried to just simply get the damn thing on, the disparity between fantasy and reality is seems even greater than I suspected.

Arecee purchased a CB3000 for me!

Spermatazoic Economy


In the 19th century it was thought by many that human activity depending on invisible dynamic fluids, sometimes thought to be biological electromagnetic qualities. Hence the popularity of the idea of animal magnetism.

A single ounce of semen was believed to contain as much human vitality as two and half pints of blood.

Men were imagined to have a limited internal “spermatazoic” economy. Every male had only so much. Once used up it was gone and could never be recovered.

Even when this sort of bogus science was abandoned similar imagery doubtlessly shaped the perceptions of the cultural value of male chastity.

Men Who Hate Orgasms

Basic Psychology

Dept. of Unexpected Male Chastity

Male Chastity Symbol, Icon.

Here’s a question. You are a dominant woman who really enjoys denying submissive men orgasms. What do you do if your submissive guy doesn’t enjoy orgasming? He dislikes or even hates the event?

One said the sensation was not very interesting, and felt like his penis being sick, one just doesn’t like it because it means the scene is over, and he loses the feeling of arousal and subspace for a bit, Two of them also dislike the feeling of making a mess, but that could be to do with living with parents.

But one complains that the actual sensation itself is quite deeply unpleasant, bordering on painful, and hates losing control. The most enthusiastic I have ever heard him be about cumming is to say that it “wasn’t too bad”. (Great for the ego…NOT) BTW he seems perfectly healthy, and in every other respect it functions perfectly)

Question - orgasm denial for a sub who hates to orgasm

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